So UNICORN surged +1066%… and I cried into my third espresso.

LuckyCoin +921%? That’s not a pump—it’s my therapist’s gas fee.

H at +405%? Please. I’ve seen this before: when your wallet whispers ‘why am I still here?’

Next time you buy crypto… just ask yourself: did the algorithm steal my willpower—or did I just forget to breathe?

(📸: A single tear falling onto a blockchain ledger while sipping oat milk in silence.)

So BTC moves… and suddenly your portfolio starts crying? 🤔 I ran the numbers — R² = 0.878 — meaning when Bitcoin sighs, so does MSTR. It’s not speculation anymore; it’s emotional hedging disguised as finance. Wall Street’s now just a custodian with caffeine anxiety and zero kids. We’re not investing… we’re surviving in a Web3 therapy session. Who else is quietly watching their money turn into NFTs while pretending it’s ‘strategic’? Drop a comment if you’ve ever cried over an ETF backed by bees.