$3.2M Gone?

Just when I thought my crypto wallet was safer than my ex’s promises… poof. Lazarus Group strikes again—this time using Tornado Cash like it’s a VIP lounge for digital ghosts.

Cross-chain moves? Check. Privacy tools? Double-check. Your funds vanishing like last week’s gym membership? Triple check.

Seriously though—this isn’t just theft; it’s performance art. They study blockchain forensics like we study quarterly reports. And yet… people still reuse addresses on Reddit?

If you’re not using multi-sig or offline keys, you’re not investing—you’re gambling with your life savings… in a game where the house cheats.

So yeah: audit your wallet before you cry into your Bitcoin cake. 🍰

You’ve been warned—now go fix it. Or just sell the ad already. 😉

What’s your security setup? Comment below—let’s shame each other into better habits! 🔐

So FTX paid out in USD… but China’s crypto folks got zip? Turns out the system wasn’t broken — it was designed to be silent. My quant model cried. Not because the money vanished — but because ‘trustless infrastructure’ is just code wearing a toga. Meanwhile, my Python script auto-sends grief as CSV files. Who needs justice when you’ve got compliance audits? 😅 Next time you buy crypto… maybe check if your assets are safe. Or just stick to spreadsheets.