From Eye Drops to Crypto Pumps: Eyenovia’s Desperate Gambit

The numbers alone defy pharmaceutical logic:

• Market cap: $20M (pre-announcement)
• Investment: $50M in HYPE tokens
• Stock surge: 77% single-day, 181% weekly

When your glaucoma treatment revenue ($56K annually) can’t cover the CEO’s espresso budget, perhaps turning into a “Hyperion DeFi” node operator seems reasonable. As someone who’s built ETH staking models, I’m equal parts fascinated and horrified.

Chapter 11 or HIP-3? The Anatomy of a Corporate Reinvention

The strategy reads like a crypto fanfic:

1. Issue convertible notes at \(3.25/share (current price: \)4.60 post-surge)
2. Buy 1.04M HYPE tokens (~$34 each)
3. ????
4. Profit through validator rewards

What intrigues me isn’t the token play itself—we’ve seen MicroStrategy’s Bitcoin ballet—but the specific choice of Hyperliquid. With \(200-300K daily fees and \)1B annualized revenue, it’s essentially building an institutional-grade casino where the house always wins (20% protocol fee). Smart move for a company that couldn’t monetize pupil dilation.

The Crypto Whisperer: Hyunsu Jung’s Suspiciously Perfect Resume

The new CIO’s career path smells like algorithmic trading logic:

IF pharma_company == bankrupt

THEN hire(Consensys_alumni)
AND rebrand_to_blockchain()

His trajectory from DARMA Capital (ETH staking) to Aligned (mining infra) suggests either clairvoyance or confirmation bias. That Harvard-Baker connection to Hyperliquid’s team doesn’t hurt either.

Sustainability Questions for Your Portfolio Ophthalmologist

While EBZT’s multi-chain staking fund shows institutional FOMO spreading faster than pinkeye in daycare, three concerns persist:

1. Regulatory myopia: SEC hasn’t approved any crypto accounting standards beyond BTC/ETH
2. Concentration risk: 58% of HYPE supply held by top 10 addresses
3. Liquidity illusion: Daily volumes fluctuate harder than intraocular pressure

As I update my “Zombie Companies Using Crypto as Defibrillator” spreadsheet, remember: when traditional finance meets decentralized gambling, always read the prospectus through rose-colored glasses.