The $169 Million Crypto Gold Rush

Another week, another cascade of VC money flooding into crypto projects that may or may not survive the next bear market. According to RootData’s latest tally, June 16-22 saw 16 funding deals totaling $169 million - enough to buy roughly 400 Bitcoin at current prices (or one mediocre JPEG on SuperRare).

Infrastructure Plays: Building the On-Ramps Before the Highway

The big winner? Infrastructure projects soaking up capital like a sponge in the desert:

• Tools for Humanity acquired Dawn Wallet (RIP to another independent wallet)
• Stackup raised $4.2M from 1kx for “centralized control of decentralized assets” - an oxymoron that would make my CMU professors weep
• TON’s TAC secured $11.5M to bring EVM compatibility to Telegram - because nothing says “mass adoption” like embedding DeFi in your aunt’s messaging app

The crown jewel? Eigen Labs’ $70 million follow-on investment from a16z for EigenCloud, proving that even in crypto, the rich get richer while the rest of us fight over testnet faucet drippings.

AI Mania Meets Crypto Hype

Our machines are getting smarter than your average NFT flipper:

• SparkChain AI raised $10.8M for decentralized computing - basically SETI@home but with more token incentives
• PublicAI secured $8M for Web3 brainwave data collection (because what could go wrong combining BCI tech with blockchain?)

Meanwhile, Project Eleven pocketed $6M to protect Bitcoin from quantum computers - a threat that’s been “5 years away” for about 15 years now.

The Bottom Line

While the funding numbers look impressive, remember that in crypto winter, many of these startups will either pivot to AI or die trying. As someone who’s seen three cycles of this madness, my advice? Watch where the smart money like Paradigm and a16z are placing bets…and maybe short the rest.